Sermon 2 - Liberation Through Humility - January 26, 2025

 

Liberation Through Humility - Camille Winningham - Second Sermon - Delivered 1/26/2025 

Meditation 
We have seen a theme throughout this whole month. A Theme of  beginning again. I am sure at some point someone has given you the instructions to meditate by sitting down, being still, and feeling yourself breathe. This is probably the first time you realized how much you think. Well, a misconception of meditation is not to stop thinking. That is impossible, that is the nature of the mind. The practice of meditation is to realize when we are thinking, letting the thought go, and returning our focus. To return to focus back on the breath or the weight of our bodies on our cushions. Doing this without then having another thought commenting on catching yourself thinking is usually the next challenge. But that is the practice: thinking, letting go of the thought, and returning our focus. Not even the thing we are returning focus to is important. Just the return to focus. Over and over again. Let's take a moment to practice beginning again. 

Candle Blessing
I want to acknowledge our concerns with the words of a man who knew a thing or two about overcoming challenges. Co -Founder of modern 12 step fellowships Bill W. wrote, “Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives.
Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and therefore
spiritual progress can be built.”

Sermon 
The first Sunday of the month, as I walked down from this platform back to my seat after the opening service, my youngest child whispered to me, “You are going to embarrass yourself.” I told him he was right. I am very sure that I will embarrass myself. But I don’t have much fear of embarrassment and I definitely don’t do enough to avoid it. As my husband can attest, my foot and my mouth are very well acquainted.
Placing ourselves in the vulnerable position to make a mistake or be embarrassed is bravery. I am being brave right now. I am sure I don’t look entirely comfortable up here and I assure you, I am not. Having that bravery is the only way we can accomplish any of the things we wish for ourselves, for our community, and for our world.
Let me paraphrase author, podcaster, and founder of Together Rising, Glennon Doyle, during an activist meeting she said, “Enduring the uncomfortable is the work. When we are just worried about getting it right, we don’t do the right thing. When we find that we are making mistakes, we aren’t doing it wrong, we are just finally doing it. We will mess up and we will get in trouble and that’s how we do this over and over again. We have to care more about our shared future than our own comfort.”
When I first began my journey into recovery 22 years ago, I had a misunderstanding that humility came from humiliation. That humility meant I was to humble myself to someone or something. As you can imagine, being a cradle Unitarian Universalist, I was not open to that idea.
Bill W., who laid the foundation for the modern 12-step movement, said, “Humility is the clear recognition of what and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to be what we can be.” When I first heard this quote…. I had no idea what it meant. And then I really struggled with that first part which is where we have to start. We have to start where we are. 
Ego likes to think in the binary. Self-pity and false pride are two sides of the same coin. The coin of paralyzing perfectionism. Self-pity says we cannot improve and false pride says there is nothing to improve. Both lead to the conclusion that there is nothing to do and nothing can be done.
I began my journey with a mix of both; in private, I pitied myself, and in public, I was infallible. I did not allow myself to make mistakes and I took the principle of stoicism to the extreme. This is where I was the first time I saw the Dalai Lama give a speech in 2004, which was on creating peace within ourselves first before we can create peace in the world.
In his speech, he told a story about a watch he owned that quit working. He tried to fix it, became frustrated, and smashed the watch. Then he laughed and said, “Then it was really broken.” Have you ever heard him laugh before? He has an amazing whole body laugh. 
This is when I first began to understand that humility is the acceptance of my humanity. Here was a person allegedly reincarnated 14 times, who describes himself as “a simple monk,” who definitely spends more time meditating in temples than I do. Yet he gets angry, allows himself to be angry, to act out in anger, to make a mistake, to laugh at it, admit his mistakes to others, and not just learn a lesson but teach it to others. Who am I to deny myself my mistakes and emotions? This is when I began to question the value of perfectionism. Not even the Dalai Lama is perfect.
I’ve talked about how perfectionism can be paralyzing. People who struggle with perfectionism often either only try things they know they can do perfectly or don’t try at all. They also struggle to apologize or take accountability. When a mistake is made, they often completely give up or sabotage and then blame others. In extreme cases, they will create a problem they know they can solve to give themselves a moment of pride. Does this sound familiar?
This black-and-white thinking is something that’s reinforced by oppressive systems. Perfectionism is fundamentalism. It glorifies purity, rejects diversity and inclusion, unfairly blames those who are ill or disabled or different or disenfranchised, and denies their humanity. It labels people as either good or bad and places all blame on the individual when things go “wrong.” In this way, perfectionism promotes individualism over community.
Being in community requires us to take accountability, make amends, forgive (but not forget), and then move on. As our Unitarian Universalist Church of Chattanooga covenant says, “When we fail, we begin again in love.” And guess what? We will often make mistakes in doing this too. We will need to practice. 
We can be a community for each other where we can practice this. Has anyone here ridden horses, done gymnastics, or participated in any other activity where you practice falling? Ideally, you would not fall at all, but falling happens, so we have to practice doing so safely. What if we were a community that did not strive to be “the perfectly progressive” community, but the community where we practiced being the community we want to see in the world? A community that can join, accept, and make space for other communities.
If we are not striving towards perfectionism, then what is this ideal that Bill W. says we are making “a sincere attempt to be?” Well, Bill doesn’t say what exactly we are making an attempt to be, just “an attempt to be what we can be.” I think he had in mind that whatever that would be, it would still be authentically us, it would still be our humanity. 
Bill W. wrote many books on sobriety and 12-step fellowships. At one point, he intended to write a book about those with quality sobriety; that “got it.” But even he wasn’t sure what “it” was. He decided he would interview the members of the 12-step fellowships that he thought had “it” and then figure it out. But as he approached each one to ask them about “it,” they all humbly said, “Oh, I don’t have ‘it.’ I am still figuring this out.” Thus, Bill never wrote that book, but he had a better understanding of humility, which definitely has something to do with remaining teachable and taking action.
What do we take action towards? I don’t know. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” So, I don’t think we really have to know. Not knowing is being teachable and being teachable is humility. As UUs, we have covenants and principles and we change them as needed. Those are good ideals, especially “the changing them as needed” part. 
I know our humanity has something to do with what we are striving for. And I like the definition of humanity from our story of all ages last week. The children’s story “It Starts with Me” by Dr. Bernice A. King and Dr. Kimberly P. Johnson defines humanity as “the common good between me and you.” It is simple yet complete definition.
Now I am going to give you a simple way to take action towards humanity that you can do today. You can do it right after this service. You might even be able to do it right now if you can whisper to a neighbor or text. (We all do it during the sermon.) Be of service to others by asking for help. Asking for help is an act of service. 
Hold on, let me explain. When you help someone else, how do you feel? Think about how you felt the last time you helped someone. It felt good, right? It felt like love. Well, that wouldn’t have happened if the other person had not been brave enough to place themselves in the vulnerable position of asking or accepting your help. They had set aside their pride and self-pity to allow you to help them.
The 12th step of the 12 steps is carrying the message of recovery. The whole principle behind it is if I do not help others achieve recovery, I will not keep my recovery. So, when someone allows me to help them, they are strengthening my recovery. Who is doing whom a favor? 
Yes, being of service is important, but giving others the opportunity to be of service might even be more important. So, throw away self-pity and have hope that there is a way you can be helped. Then, swallow your pride, be a little embarrassed, and ask for help. Then go make some mistakes so we all can laugh about them and learn with each other.

So What?
I am going to warn y’all, this might feel like a second sermon, but given current events I think it would be tone-deaf of me not to address the elephant in the room. 
I know a lot about hitting rock bottom. I know what it can look like, and lately, in our world, things have been looking very familiar. As someone who has been to rock bottom a few times, I need to tell you that rock bottom is a place of hope. It's a place where we can find a clarity that we can only see from there.
As Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King once said, and Kamala Harris has echoed, “But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.” You see a lot when you're looking up from the ground. It’s from rock bottom that we can see what's holding us down. We can identify our oppressors and get uncomfortable enough to throw off our chains. When we have nothing to lose, that's when we truly know what we need to fight for. The consequences of being at rock bottom motivate us to change.
For this reason, it is important to hold each other accountable and not save others from their own consequences. We have to allow others and ourselves to get uncomfortable. This can be the hardest thing to do, especially when you are a person of great compassion and empathy.
I want to share some inspiration from a wonderful 12-step fellowship for the loved ones of alcoholics. After all, I see little difference between those who subscribe to authoritarianism and an alcoholic who refuses to accept the state of their condition. This fellowship says, “We discover that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.” So, I call on you to find contentment and joy despite our oppressors. That is a true act of revolution. Look for those stars.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, “Fight for the things that you care about. But do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” Those people who join you—those are the stars. And those who join you might surprise you. (Also, if we look like we are having a good time, others are more likely to join.)
Let me give you a little tip from one of our less problematic Founding Fathers, Polytheist, and Deist, Benjamin Franklin. He discovered that if you can get someone to do a favor for you, they will think of you more positively and be more likely to serve your cause. So, going back to what I was saying, ask for help, ask for a favor. Maybe ask someone to join you on Sunday for a service here. Consider it doing me a favor. I know that the growth of our beloved community is a star for me.